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Marriage, or nika'h in `Arabic, is sacred in Islaam.
It is sacred for many reasons, but let us first look at what God has
biologically meant for all of us;
We hope people don't get the idea that we are saying marriage is meant for
everyone. Actually, that is not what we are saying at all. But romantic
relationships are meant for all of us. However, like everything else, some of
us abuse our romantic relationships. Because of such abuse, God restricts us.
Therefore, in Islaam, marriage is living up to your responsibility. While some
may call that "restriction." The word for marriage in `Arabic,
nika'h, comes from the word nik'h or to
know. So the word nikah is generally translated as the
known. Please don't think it reffers to sex. Because it does not.
So why Marriage in Islaam then? Because God created the human weak, unlike
its Creator, the human needs a partner(see 4.28 and then see chapter 112 or
Surrat ul Aqlas.) Therefore, in Islaam, when God creates the first
human being with knowledge, He creates a partner for him. But along the way,
man started corrupting his life. It is recorded in history that the many men
used to sleep with women and, when she is found with a child, would deny her
and the seed. Thus when God revealed the Torah, God made it unlawful for a
couple to have sexual relations without the community's knowledge, as it also
says in the following verse;
Therefore, the known comes from there. The word usually used in
Hebrew for marriage is kiddushin which comes from kodesh or
holy. It is holy because you are taking up your responsibilities. It'd be easy
for any man to take women in secret and then leave them in there so(and this
has unfortunately happened and happens in the Muslim World, even though God
warns us from it.) Therefore marriage is to protect women and children. If a
couple decide to divorce, but the woman is found with a child, they are
encouraged to get back together(see Quran 2:228.)
Singles and Suits,
What if you don't want to get married? That is fine. But if you are
heterosexual, you just can't have sex. Because every time you have sex, there
is a chance you might have a child out of the known. And while there is
no such thing as a "bastard" in Islaam, like there was the chance for you to
have a child was there the chance for you to oppress. Even to this day when we
have birth controls and paternity tests, there are still the chance to
oppress.
For example, in the United States, a woman may deny a man of his seed and
she is can legally decide not to have the child tested. Also, regardless of
such extreme advances in medical, we still do not have a birth control that is
100% accurate. Now imagine living in the Middle East around the 7th century.
Imagine living there now! God surely means to protect man from one another,
but they incline to do so and only against themselves.
Same Sex Options,
But, for homosexuals, marriage is not something they have to do.
Because there are no children involved there is no need for a marriage. A
homosexual couple don't have to tell anything anyone but themselves. On the
other hand, a heterosexual couple must announce to the community or at least
there must be two men or two women and one man who witness it. But the main
reason why there is no homosexual marriage is because there is no children the
community needs to "know." What if the couple want to adopt? What if they do?
Islaam concentrates on the biological side of things, not other artificial
paths we choose.
Seperations and Divorce,
What if a married couple want to divorce? The Quran discourages divorce. It
asks the couple to spend some time apart so that they may cool off;
Therefore men should not act crazy and just divorce their wives. They
should wait four months and think about it really hard. With 60% of marriages
ending in divorce today in the West, Islaam offered a very good solution
centuries ago. While Islaam does not deprive people of the need to get
divorced, it encourages them to take the time necessary to figure out if it is
what they really want or not.
Returns and Retracts,
God in the Quran tells us that we should not be selfish and that a
reconciliation is better for us;
That is what the world has become nowdays. Everyone is "me, me, me!!!" 60%
of marriages ending in a divorce is crazy! Whatever happened to sacrifices and
compromising? Do people go into marriage thinking it will be easy? One should
keep in mind that when you choose to marry, you choose to take up another
whole person in your presence. That means someone who can be totally
opposite from you.
Engagements and Marriage,
And He it is Who has created the human from water, then He
has made for him blood relationship and romantic relationship, and your LORD
is powerful. Surrat ul Furqan, 25:54.
And there is no blame on you respecting that which you speak
indirectly in the asking of (such) women in marriage or keep (the proposal)
concealed within your minds; God knows that you win mention them, but do not
give them a promise in secret unless you speak in a lawful manner, and do
not confirm the marriage tie until the writing is fulfilled, and know that
God knows what is in your minds, therefore beware of Him, and know that God
is Forgiving, Forbearing. Surrat ul Baqarah, 2:235
Those who swear that they will not go in to their women
should wait four months; so if they go back, then God is surely Forgiving,
Merciful. And if they have resolved on a divorce, then God is surely
Hearing, Knowing. Surrat ul Baqarah, 2:226-227.
And if a woman fears ill usage or desertion on the part of
her husband, there is no blame on them, if they effect a reconciliation
between them, and reconciliation is better, and avarice has been made to be
present in the (people's) minds; and if you do good (to others) and guard
(against evil), then surely God is aware of what you do. Surrat ul
Nisa'a, 4:128.